He was very physical โ that's all he seemed to want to do while we were dating for the month. On the other hand, I was like, 'Can we do anything else? He didn't pressure me or anything, he just seemed to want to get in my pants more than he wanted to do anything else together.
Now I'm happier and more confident. I no longer feel that I need a relationship to feel complete. I did have to learn to get a stronger backbone and not be afraid to ruffle feathers, especially in dating, but I'm okay with how things turned out. Not only could my dates probably sense it, but it also made me feel strange about them โ I wouldn't want to pursue them because I was subconsciously creating a wall between myself and them. Magically, the next guy I hit it off with enough to want to meet IRL , I've now been dating for five months.
It's been extremely easy. He was my first romantic kiss and everything after. I receive happiness from our relationship and outside of it. I haven't poured my entire identity and all my time into him. I've also maintained my female friendships. I no longer obsess over whether he likes me or his idea of me because I know I didn't create a version of myself for him. As a result, he integrates seamlessly into my friendships and family relationships.
It created tons of insecurity around my lack of experiences โ mainly because my friends and peers had already had those experiences. I felt as if I was always missing out and left out of my friends' conversations about sex.
However, by waiting to get into a relationship, I think I've avoided many potential issues I would've experienced before I was ready and able to be myself in a partnership.
