She watched the ease with which other people communicated and dated, aware that she was different. After getting diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder last year, Laina started to realise that the social and sensory difficulties that made dating complicated are part of who she is. In fact, we might just express it differently, have a different love language or need more time alone.
I don't want to just do small talk and hook up. Despite attempting some casual dates after her last serious relationship ended, Rachael is not currently dating.
That means Rachael has to be even more alert in dating situations, making casual dating feel unsafe. I don't want to explain all of that to someone I'm not comfortable around.
Dating an autistic person if you are neurotypical may require some adaptation. But why would you approach dating everyone in exactly the same way? Take, for example, the incorrect assumption some people have that all autistic people hate intimacy and touch.
Dating advice for autistic or other neurodiverse people often relies on masking; hiding who we are, faking understanding cues, holding ourselves back when we get excited. This advice rarely considers the psychological stress this causes, or the fact that making a connection work depends on both partners. They have often worked very hard at this already, and appreciate the subtle differences between social situations. For example, they are often very sensitive to when someone might be offended, bored or upset and can adapt on a date to the other person.
