So many warnings on what not to say or do, the ones to avoid, the dangers. But what about the good stuff? We know all about the red flags , but their more positive, cheerleading green cousins are just as important. Never accept any less than the absolute best in show. Images should be super-fresh — no decades-old selfies snapped in smeared bathroom mirrors, and no photos with exes. Just think: long-distance lovers might bring you something interesting from the big Robert Dyas in their town.
Pleased to see you This always applies, actually — whether first laying eyes on you sauntering into the bar, or 10 years later, in the car park, in sideways rain, with 10 carrier bags, your face longer than the queues for the toilets at Latitude. Play it hot. Wow one another. They should dress for the date as if they mean business. Personality should be fully electrified. Humour should be on its A-game. You both share Jokes, traumas, saliva. Sharing is caring. You need a warrior to go into battle and ask politely for more of it, or indeed anything.
If silence is mortifying to you, a tip from me: talk about how you find silence uncomfortable! Make a joke about it! The best way to talk your way out of a wordless lull is … to talk about talking.
Try it. Yes, we want to hear about the time you wet yourself in the middle of Waitrose, aged Or accidentally sexted your boss. Want to get married one day? Tell them! Be open! Do they check back in, recall names and places?
Can they cross-reference your ding-dong with Rita from accounts in with Simon from HR being snappy with you at the last work barbecue before Covid? Jokes drying up? Drop a banana skin on the restaurant floor and see what happens. Laughter must be genuine, too — no polite tittering at gags that land harder than your Uncle Steve after 10 pints of IPA.
