Dating kinda sucks. It can feel like an unfair gamble, an exhausting and excruciating hamster wheel of swiping, crushed hopes and a tug of war between the desire to throw in the towel completely and the urge to download the apps maybe just this one more time. For the Highly Sensitive Person HSP living in a world of too-fast, too-loud, too-bright, dating can feel particularly overwhelming.
Yet at the same time, dating can help you come to know yourself more deeply. Sweaty palms, racing heart, churning stomach. First or second, or third date jitters are totally normal. If it seems like the dread of anxiety is holding you back from taking more dating risks, know that re-orienting yourself to the here and now is a resource you can come back to over and over.
You might ground yourself with some deep, slow breaths, or bring your awareness more fully to the physical environment around you by naming 5 things you can see, 5 things you can feel and 5 things you can hear.
If your mind is working overtime, try writing whatever is coming up for you in a journal that is for you and only you. Sometimes when we put the words down on the page, they lose a little of their power. Not everyone deserves to know your most tender and vulnerable parts. Our inner critics will often rear their heads when it comes to dating. Notice what voices of pressure, judgment and fear might be crowding your inner landscape, and see if you can invite in some compassion for how hard it is to be a sensitive and discerning person trying to find your person in a scattered and frenetically-paced world.
Pay attention to how you feel in the presence of your date β what sensations are present in your body? How might this align or be in dissonance with the stories your mind is making? Mostly feeling fear and confusion? Get curious about that. As helpful as it can be to invite a sense of openness and curiosity into your dating world, it is just as important to know what really matters to you and use that as a compass when discerning who you want to be spending your precious time with.
